Navigating Post Grad Life

I write this post thinking about my many friends and family members at the beginning of new chapters and decisions.

Some seemingly have it together, but most are still working it out. Nicole is figuring out how to become an environmentalist extraordinaire. Kristy (my sis) begins high school next month. Sarah just bought a one-way ticket to Boston to find a job, and Sharbear just upped and left to Denver with her boyfriend. Karquie is preparing for her 2nd year of teaching in Charleston. Kristina just donned her spiffy white coat for Virginia med school. Alexa begins married life. Erika just got engaged. Anna is weighing the differences between becoming a brilliant English professor or a superb family doctor. Jason is killin' it at Google. Racho is on the hunt for a kinesiology job. The list goes on.

I've had so many conversations over the past two years with friends, mentors, and residents about life after school. After 12+ years of following the straight and narrow, pre-defined direction laid out for us, we finally have to fact the "what do you want to do with your life?" question. Small question, infinite answers.

The funny thing is, it's a question we've had over us forever, if even in different forms. My fourth-grade art teacher asked us to draw a self-portrait of "what we want to be when we grow up." A few people seemed to have known their answer from an early age; I was not one of those "lucky" few. I painted myself as a "professional lacrosse player" because I was particularly enjoying running around a field in a plaid kilt, catching and cradling a lacrosse ball...and then also because my best friend had already taken "professional track runner." Other things I wanted to become: a Disney princess, an astronaut, an explorer (your guess is as good as mine), a spy, a dentist, a rock-climber, an author, an English teacher, and an architect.

Then the question became, "what do you want to go to school for?", which morphed into "how are you going to use your degree?" To my parents' dismay, I thought I wanted to go to school for an English degree. Then, for a short lived period, I wanted to transfer to A-school to become an architect. I ended up choosing a major that seemed more "practical" at the time: an interdisciplinary environmental degree focused on environmental policy. There was also a lot of science and economics, with a little philosophy and literature thrown in. I thought I might get into environmental law, work for the EPA or the DOI, or some kind of environmental business/technology company. Turns out, policy wasn't for me.

I got more out of my Leadership minor, where inspiring leaders from all different walks visited our class and gave us some pretty awesome insights, including their own stories. We studied people like Yvon Chouinard of Patagonia, Rachel Carson, and polar explorer Ernest Shackleton. A few of our speakers included a female army general, a pair of engineers behind Edison2 (an electric car), and a representative of a the Grameen Foundation, a pretty sweet microfinance company. My favorite speaker, though, was Mark Lorenzoni, manager of the beloved C'ville landmark and my own place of employment, Ragged Mountain Running shop. What we learned was so applicable to the groups we were a part of outside of the classroom. I think I often learned more from listening to these guys than from slogging it out for hours at the library. It was cool to apply, rather than only philosophize.
But, back to the heart of this meandering thought. Navigating that time after school can be rough.
I did not have it together after my original plan of becoming a Coast Guard Officer, something I'd hung my hopes upon, fell through. That lost, purposeless feeling, along with a number of other emotions and problems, made me to feel I was adrift in a Cat 5 hurricane. A loss of independence, leaving the support system I'd spent 4 years creating, and being away from the lively and vivacious Charlottesville were part of what shook me to my core. (You can read about my OCS rejection here, if you fancy: "Sunset Run, Rejection Run." )
I flailed around a bit. Actually a lot! My adventures in D.C. will have to be a post of their own because they're hilarious, in retrospect.

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These are my thoughts on how to make it through the storm. Don't take them as advice, as they are just observations. I'm no sage, that's for damn sure.


No one can make the decisions for you. Indecision is agonizing. We all reach our decisions in unique ways, and I find this a fascinating facet of human motivation. Some chase security, wealth, and comfort. Some are rational and logical. Attachments to significant others or strong family ties often make decisions for us. Sometimes decisions are based on fear. A handful of people will repeatedly do what they're "supposed" to do, while a few others will follow a greater purpose and intuition. In reality, all these factors affect us at different times and with different decisions. In the end, the decision to take responsibility of your decisions is the most liberating.

Think in 6 month time periods. Someone gave me this piece of wisdom when I was having a rough time. Six months, in the grande scheme, is nothing. As long as you're making efforts, it will get better. It doesn't rain forever, but take shelter under an umbrella for a bit if you need to, taking a few moments to enjoy the hard-found beauty of storm while you're at it.

Have fun after school. Really!!! This is a wild and new freedom that most of us haven't had in years. It's intimidating, even. My biggest regret is not using more of this time to continue traveling. I freaked out about my bank account after my original plan didn't work. In reality, I could have gone a bit longer with traveling cross country to different national parks/cities, visiting and staying with friends.

We are freshman at life. By the end of our 4 years at school, a lot of us were badasses. We definitely thought we "had our shit together." Unfortunately, it doesn't really matter so much afterwards. The only thing we can do is take what we learned from our experiences, and apply it to these new beginnings.

Great success follows great risk. Fact of life. Nike apparel is cheaply-made and overpriced (in my humble opinion), but they got it right with their cheesy but memorable "Just DO it" slogan. If that means moving to a new place and struggling to make ends meet for awhile, so be it. It takes a lot of courage to believe you'll figure it out.

Be humble and genuine, or get stuck. If we continuously put on an interview persona and show people what we think they want to see, we end up just where that takes us: a dead end or an ill fitting spot. Therefore, authenticity is paramount. Also, if you did manage to land a new position, it's a silly idea to pretend like you know what you're doing. You don't.

Pick out the passions and pursue them. The money will follow later.

Reality is gritty. Thinking and dreaming in the ideals is lovely. Those with an imagination go far, but reality can bite you too. If your head and heart are in the clouds, like mine often are, come back sometime! Those thoughts ought to eventually turn into actions, and you'll have to face the details when they do.

"Well done is better than well said." - Benjamin Franklin
If the door shuts, look for the open window. Cliché, sure. But so true. And yes, rejection hurts every time.

There's going to be an awkward stage. Freshmen are awkward. We have a lot to learn. We're going to fall on our face a few times and embarrass ourselves with our lack of competence in our beginning careers. However, when you do trip (figuratively, or literally in my case), just be sure to fall forward.

                    

No job choice will be perfect. You don't just choose a job, you choose a lifestyle. Not long ago, I'd make lists of things I wanted in my career: to help people, to work with kids, to work with/on/under the ocean, to have a chance to advance and grow, to travel, to be outside, to teach, to live in a sweet area, to write, to be able to use creativity, and to be surrounded by cool and like-minded people. No job can or will meet all the criteria. Recognize this, and we can stop looking for perfection.

Also, life outside of work can fill in the gaps. Nobody said we can't have oddball interests that don't line up with our chosen career path.

You can hop off the train at anytime. Perhaps you've given it a fair shot and allowed ample time for adjustment and stumbling, but it still stinks. Get off the train! It might be an easy transition. Maybe you'll be able to ease to a stop at the station and walk to your next position. However, it probably won't be that easy. Occasionally, you might have to leap off into the unknown to get where you want to go. It could hurt a bit. It usually does.

Yet, I know we'll brush off and be fine. It's calm that follows a storm.

I'll be here as a sounding board for my friends, always. My job now is certainly not wonderful, but I at least feel pretty confident and surefooted that I'm on a path that's right for me.

Adios, amigos.

Off the Pier at Station Rockland - 2014